


Wish I Were Here

by StrokeofStupidity



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Blood and Gore, Everyone Loves Poe Dameron, Gen, Hux is Not Nice, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Inspired by Welcome to Night Vale, Jewish Character, Kylo Ren Has Issues, M/M, Time Skips, Unreliable Narrator, it gets better for both of them
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-25
Updated: 2017-08-25
Packaged: 2018-12-19 20:13:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,329
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11905371
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StrokeofStupidity/pseuds/StrokeofStupidity
Summary: After his father's sudden death, Kylo runs. He runs and remembers and forgets. Then he meets Hux and the mysterious people of Starkiller. Everything changes after that. Kylo doesn't remember if that's a good thing.





	Wish I Were Here

**Author's Note:**

> So here's my entry for the 2017 Kylux Mini Bang! It was a labour of love and I feel so blessed to have the support of the fandom. Without them, I doubt I could post anything, let alone a complete fic. Unbeta'd, so forgive any mistakes.
> 
> Title comes from Next to Normal, which is a great musical that everyone should check out, though it has no bearing on our story.

Kylo doesn’t really remember how he got here. He remembers slamming the car door and driving away, his mother fading away in the rearview mirror and guilt settling deep in his gut. He knows he left a few days after the shiva, casseroles half eaten in the fridge and dirt from the cemetery still under his nails. Luke said it wasn’t his fault, but Kylo didn’t believe him. Kylo had stopped believing him years before.

He remembers driving for days on end, one melding into the other. He remembers seeing mountains and deserts, oceans and streams, skyscrapers and ghost towns. It shouldn’t have been possible for him to see all those things considering the direction he was traveling, but he did. He didn’t question it at the time, he just enjoyed the beauty of the colorful sky painted in reds, oranges, and purples above him. He remembers stopping at the side of the road for a quick nap that turned into a restless sleep and when he woke up, there was a town in front of him. When he went to sleep there was nothing but fields for miles and when he opened his eyes, a sign stood proclaiming Starkiller, Pop. 6,483. 

Had Kylo knew then what he knew now, he might have told himself to turn the car around and drive back home. Had Kylo known then what he knows now, he would tell himself to speed into that little town and never look back.

He drove through the town slowly, the sun beating down on the roof of his car and making his shirt stick to his skin. There was no one outside, and for some reason Kylo didn’t think it was because of the heat. The town didn’t have the same feel as the few ghost towns he had driven through. With those, the was a settled feel to the air, like people had just died and let the town die with them. The air in Starkiller was poised, ready for … something. Like a big cat watching prey. He couldn’t figure out who the prey was supposed to be. As he drove, he saw a post office and a supermarket, some restaurants and a few shops. All in all, nothing special. There was a bit of decay about the town, like it had been a few years since someone had cleaned up. Most of the buildings needed new paint jobs, the fire hydrants had rusted caps. Kylo felt his breath come out in a fog, despite the heat.

He remembers finding a diner eventually, the only new looking thing in the entire town. The whole diner was covered in a shiny chrome and, exiting his car as a unusually chill breeze rolled past, Kylo had to shield his eyes for a moment in the glaring sun. His stomach had started growling, the noise sounding louder than he could ever recall. He remembers thinking he would get himself lunch, freshen up, and then continue on his way. He remembers why that didn’t happen. That’s one of the clearest memories he has.

He strolled up to the counter, sitting on the hard, red plastic stool. There was a newspaper on the counter, probably left over from another patron. Kylo couldn’t find the date and the stories seemed both very vague and suspiciously specific. Why did all the people mentioned share his name and the names of his family? Why were all the pictures Dilbert cartoons? There’s a cup of hot coffee by his elbow and he takes a sip without even questioning where it came from. It tasted like the best coffee he ever had and it made his extremities heavy. The coffee never changes color, no matter how much sugar or milk you put in. It’s always a deep unsettling black.

The owner came up to him, introduced herself as Phasma. She was tall, taller than Kylo, taller than a building, taller than Mt. Everest. But that could have just been Kylo’s sleep deprived brain. She was tall, but a normal kind of tall with regular long limbs. Why would Phasma have long, growing limbs crawling over the counter to wrap around his legs and arms and squeeze the meager life force left within him? He took another sip of coffee and focused on his plan. His plan to eat some lunch, freshen up, and continue his way towards the coast.

His father spoke a lot about the coast. How the waves were never rough and how they would lap against your ankles like a old, friendly dog. How the sun would rise and set so slowly, giving you so much time with the changing colors. How the sand was warm, but never burning. Kylo dreamed of visiting that coast, even though he was sure his father was exaggerating. Although considering the circumstances, even if Kylo found the coast, he doubted he would’ve gone. He didn’t deserve his father’s coast. He didn’t deserve a lot.

“It’s not often we get strangers around here. Most of the time they can’t even find us, let alone stay for coffee.” Phasma said pointedly. For some reason, Kylo felt the guilt he’d been running from tap him on the shoulder. He brushed it away.

“Well I felt like I needed a change. This town seems as good as any other. There a place I can go to clean myself up? I need a shower and a good bed. Is there a motel or something here?” He asked, his voice harsh from disuse. How many days had it been since he left home? He couldn’t remember.

Phasma smiled at him. It was a nice smile, large and bright with teeth that glinted in the light, her canines dripping with something dark and red, her maw opening wide and dark ready to swallow Kylo whole, tear his flesh from his bones and-

She pointed him in the direction of a man named Hux.

Kylo remembers being scared but now he can’t recall why.

He pulled up to a small apartment complex, a plain metal sign declaring that the property was owned by Finalizer Homes Ltd. and to see the superintendent with any inquiries. Maybe the town didn’t have motels. It was a pretty small place after all and maybe the super could let him couch surf for a few days. A voice whispered in Kylo’s ear that this was their place. Then it whispered that the McRib was back. Kylo told it to shut up, he wasn’t even hungry anymore.

He knocked on the door and there was a meow from inside, followed by the inescapable sound of the gates of Hell being ripped open and your soul clinging to your body as it is forced down into the fiery depths while goats screamed and fire raged and sinister laughter echoed in your bones.

Kylo remembered to take his headphones out just before the door opened.

Hux was beautiful, Kylo always remembered that. Despite the gaps in his memory, he always remembered the first time he saw Hux. He was tall and pale with bright red hair and eyes that switched between shades. Blue, green, and gray all manifested and shifted in his eyes and spoke of ancient mysteries long since forgotten. His shadow was long and dark behind him, the afternoon sun making it reach all the way up to the ceiling. It wrapped around Kylo’s shoulders as he sat on the couch and poked uncomfortably at his ribs. Hux made them more coffee. 

“I’m looking for a place to stay and maybe a job. I just moved here and I need a new start. Phasma at the diner said to talk to you.” Kylo remembers saying. That wasn’t what he planned on saying, but it’s what came out. He didn’t correct himself. Hux smiled and his shadow smiled too.

“Well, times have been kind of hard lately. I’d rent you an apartment but they’re all so dismal. I know I could use a roommate. I might even be able to help you find some employment. I think a few places in town are hiring. You’ll need to clean up though, you smell stale.” Hux said, his voice crisp and accented. A cat jumped up onto the couch and licked playfully at Kylo’s fingers. She announced that her name was Millicent and her favorite toy was a rubber ball she stole from a long past queen and that Kylo smelled of death. He couldn’t disagree with her but the comment stung a little. She welcomed him into her life and then she never spoke again. Kylo pet her softly, his fingers catching on her spikes.

“Honestly, that sounds amazing. Thank you Hux, this means a lot to me. I really needed to get away, you know?” He replied, offering his hand for Hux to shake. The shadow wrapped around his wrist and squeezed it in a way that was both menacing and affectionate. Kylo couldn’t remember where his shadow went.

“No, I don’t.” Hux finally said, producing a contract from nowhere. It seemed to be the standard roommate agreement. No loud music after a certain hours, pay your rent on this day, bathroom cleaning duties would alternate biweekly, no summoning demons or setting up blood circles before noon. That sort of thing.

Kylo signed the agreement and then he didn’t remember anything for a very long time.

 

He remembers liking the town, meeting everyone and learning their names. Mitaka works at the supermarket and always seems like he’s in a rush despite the fact that the parking lot only ever has two cars in it. Maz Kanata owns a bar, they say she knows about the Force, but Kylo doesn’t know what that is. Sometimes she’ll stare at him for a very long time, as if seeing his past, present, and future all together and he has to repress the shudder. The Force tells her things about Kylo. Hux says he doesn’t believe in it. Nines, JB, and Zeros seem to work at the variety of stores in the town’s strip mall. They obviously can’t work at them all, but they’re all that Kylo remembers seeing. The same types of faces hidden beneath white face masks. Apparently there hasn’t been any construction in months. Apparently they have to keep the masks on. Kylo doesn’t want to remember why.

He and Hux come to a mutual understanding. Kylo tries not to be messy in their shared bathroom and kitchen and Hux agrees to stop torturing the souls of the innocent when Kylo’s trying to sleep. All in all, it seems to work. The moments when it’s just them and Millicent, quiet in the apartment, that’s when Kylo remembers falling in love with him. Falling in love with his smile and his hair and his jokes and his collarbone and his intelligence and his everything.

Kylo can’t remember ever being this happy before. It fills him like a balloon and he finds himself smiling for no reason, eager to start the day. Starting the day means more time he can spend with Hux. More things to learn, more kisses to get, more time to share. Hux is very busy so any time they can spend together, Kylo treasures like a valuable jewel. He doesn’t know why Hux is so busy or what he even does; he’s never met any of the other tenants. But it makes Hux happy and that’s what matters.

He remembers shaving in the bathroom, turning around to get a towel for his face when he stops halfway. His back is covered in red scratches, some faded and some very, worryingly recent. He doesn’t remember how he got them. He touches one and the wound opens, blood dripping down his fingers. Flashes of movement spread across his vision, of pale skin on dark sheets. Moans and whines reverberate in his ears. He has trouble breathing suddenly and when he turns back to face the mirror, the since healed cut on his face is bleeding and he’s crying. He remembers gasping out and shutting his eyes and when he opens them, Hux is behind him and staring at him through the mirror. His eyes seemed darker than they normally were and his shadow was nowhere to be found.

“I want to go home.” Kylo said, his hands covered in blood as something sharp picks at his subconscious. He’s afraid of what it might find.

“Don’t you remember?” Hux said, walking towards him slowly, his words cloyingly sweet and thick like honey. “You are home.”

Hux kisses him then, and the bleeding stops, and Kylo stops being scared. He kisses Hux back and they don’t stop kissing as they tremble and trip towards the bedroom. They shed their clothes betweens moans and gasps, the sounds echoing as though they were in a cavern. 

They fuck on the bed, hard and fast, Hux scratching new lines into Kylo’s back, staining the sheets. Hux is below him and around him and enveloping him, consuming him as they kiss and touch. Kylo can feel his body melding with Hux’s, the skin ripping open and fusing together, their organs becoming one, great pulpy mass. Their hearts beat together and Kylo is in love and they come, screaming out into the night. Kylo screams Hux’s name, Hux screams in tongues but Kylo knows what he means. He loves Hux, all he wants is Hux, all he needs is Hux. All is Hux.

 

On Thursdays they go grocery shopping. Kylo could never get the hang of Thursdays so it’s nice that Hux has a routine. Sometimes after getting the groceries they’ll go see a movie in town. There’s one movie theater in Starkiller and it’s old and creaky and only has two screens. The concession stand features stale popcorn, flat soda, and dusty chocolate bars. Unamo stares at them with dead, unseeing eyes as she pops her gum and rips their tickets. The theater only shows two films and they change all the time. He’s never quite sure what’ll be showing. Once, they played The Room for two months straight. For some reason, Kylo never grows tired of the random changing movies and Hux doesn’t care much. Usually they’ll end up kissing and groping under the flickering projections while other movie goers that never appear to move stare ahead blankly. Cobwebs cover their bodies but they don’t seem to mind. To each their own, Kylo muses.

Kylo dreams about his old life, his past. He dreams of his mother and his father, of car trips across America, of bright lights and microphones shoved in his face. He dreams of holding his father close as the blood drips out of him, crimson and hot. He is helpless and hopeless and the guilt eats away at him like a disease, slowly calcifying every bone and then shattering with the tiniest movement. He can’t breathe in these dreams and his throat feels raw from crying and screaming and he wants to die and be with his father. He can’t look at his mother’s face; it was his fault after all. It was his fault, he wants to die. He knows it was his fault and-

He wakes up sweaty and cold and as soon as he opens his eyes, he can no longer remember the dream. When he pushes the hair away from his face, Hux is awake and sitting on the corner of the bed. His eyes glow yellow like a cat’s. Millicent’s glow red. This is comforting to him.

“I’m sorry if I woke you up. I was having a bad dream. I always have bad dreams. I’m sorry Hux.” Kylo says, wishing the blackness of their bedroom would embrace him like usual. Right now, it’s ignoring him. Instead the room is an odd shade of magenta, making them look like a cross between a low budget porno and a darkroom. Hux crawls back up the bed and straddles Kylo, his hands warm and slender on Kylo’s face. His fingers trace the scar that cuts downward, a souvenir from the accident. Kylo barely remembers the accident. Even if he could, he wouldn’t want to think about it.

“You have nothing to be sorry for. We all have bad dreams sometimes. I forgive you, I love you, you’re perfect.” Hux whispers and kisses him, the blackness finally returning as they twist and sigh together. It’s perfect and Kylo relaxes.

In the space between sleep and awake, they talk. They talk about their childhoods and their dreams, the books they like and their thoughts on mass produced cheese products. Hux can be a little reticent about his past so anything he tells Kylo is listened to and respected with the utmost genuine care. Hux didn’t have an easy childhood and Kylo understands, his hand clutching tight onto Hux’s. It’s in this warm, in-between place that Hux asks Kylo to be his boyfriend. It’s so mundane and normal, they burst into laughter a moment later. Kylo still says yes. He always says yes. 

During the day, Kylo has his job at the local mechanic. A girl named Rey works there and she’s so sweet and smart and bright as the sun. Most people have to wear goggles around her. Kylo keeps a pair in his locker. Rey reminds him of someone but he can’t remember who. It’s probably not important. What is important is that she’s great with a wrench and gave him a job and gives him a hard time every now and again. He needs people to tease him sometimes, it reminds him to let go of his anger and laugh. Everyone was always too serious back home. It’s nice to joke around with Rey. 

According to Phasma, who has eyes and ears around the town that Kylo has found and returned, she’s dating Finn, the town’s local librarian. He’s a friendly guy with a wide smile, but for some reason it always looks dangerous to Kylo. He’s never been mean or rude to Kylo, quite the opposite. He always helps out when you need him, invites Kylo out when there’s group events, is politically invested in stopping oppression against minority groups. But something about Finn unsettles him, something he can’t figure out. Maybe it’s the fact that Finn moved to Starkiller only a few months before because of a bad past and doesn’t seem too messed up. Maybe it’s the fact that he seems to remember more of the world outside the town. Kylo’s memories are incomplete and his mind wanders. Finn will look at him, his kind gaze suddenly piercing and Kylo will remember so many things, things he doesn’t want to.

Kylo tries to avoid Finn.

There’s also Poe, who’s a pilot, and he likes to come into the shop and say hi every now and then. He has a puppy named BB-8 that follows him around. Like their owner, BB-8 adores everyone. Kylo likes watching the way their fluffy butt waddles around the shop as Poe catches up with Rey. Kylo had a dog once, a great big one with long brown fur and perpetual drool. He remembers his mother was always complaining about it to his father. They never got rid of the dog though. Kylo doesn’t know what airline Poe works for, or if he even works for an airline. Maybe he works for the Government or a private Agency? He wants to ask what it’s like to escape this town and be high above everyone else. Do your problems float away like he hopes they do? Can you finally feel your lungs expand to their fullest point as your head goes hazy from the altitude? He always means to ask but whenever Poe is around, he gets tongue-tied. It’s a process to undo the knots. Poe is tan with perfect, wavy hair and perfect, straight white teeth and apparently he has a cousin who’s a scientist. Poe is very easy on the eyes and very easy to like.

Hux is in love with Poe. Kylo can’t really blame him or be mad, since he’s in love with Poe too. Everyone in the town is in love with Poe. Even Phasma, who’s a proclaimed lesbian. Poe is just one of those people you can’t help but fall in love with. Kylo doesn’t know who Poe is in love with. Maybe no one, maybe everyone. Maybe Finn, or maybe Rey, or maybe both. It’s not his business and even if Poe loved him, he wouldn’t leave Hux.

He could never leave Hux. 

It’s raining today but Kylo has no desire to leave the apartment anyway. Hux is on the couch with Millicent, watching some fuzzy version of an old cartoon. At some point a dog or possibly a bear slips on a banana peel or walks into a door and a pre-recorded laugh track plays. The laughter is childish and high pitched and it sounds menacing. Hux doesn’t laugh along, though occasionally Kylo will see a smirk on his face. Sometimes Hux reads though, great big tomes of different languages, his mouth moving silently along with the words. The apartment is always chillier when he reads. But today is cartoons, though a book sits open on his lap. Kylo’s been reading a lot of books lately, from all different genres. Despite his unease around Finn, the man has excellent recommendations. Right now, he’s reading _House of Leaves_. He likes the style and the spooky storyline but he finds it hard to follow the plot sometimes. He shifts in the armchair and Hux looks up at him. 

His smile is small but his eyes are soft and full of love and Kylo can’t ever remember being this happy. Hux’s shadow on the wall flickers in the unchanging fluorescent light and then curls upward, making it’s way toward Kylo and wrapping around him. It comes around him like a blanket, warm and familiar. Millicent is in, what Kylo jokingly calls, her blob form, and seems quite content to hover 3 feet above the ground so Hux can pet her head. 

“I was thinking I could make chicken for dinner. With that cream sauce you like? How does that sound?” Kylo asks when he finishes a chapter. Hux makes a sound of agreement.

“That sounds good. Maybe add some broccoli or spinach too? I think we have some in the fridge.” He says, his voice in that weird deep tone it goes to when he’s being possessed by an otherworldly demonic monster and manages to break free of the vicious hold for a moment. Usually that’s when he tells Kylo he loves him, but reminding him of the produce is important too.

He goes into the kitchen and starts to prepare the chicken, slicing it into cubes. He ignores the sentient gray fur that lives on the second shelf in the fridge and grabs the spinach. He grabs the knife and starts to chop, the movement repetitive and soothing.Then a flash of lightning strikes and his grip falters and he cuts into his thumb instead. It’s not a deep cut, but he still hisses in pain anyway. Hux is at his side instantly, looking pale and intrigued. 

“I’m fine, I just cut my thumb. Hand wounds always bleed a lot, even if they aren’t deep.” Kylo says as Hux runs his thumb under the faucet. When the cut is dry, but still sluggishly bleeding, Hux leans down and presses the softest of kisses on the cut. Kylo smiles and remembers.

He remembers his mother kneeling down to place a bandage on his knee after her fell off the slide. It was barely even a cut, more of a scrape, but Kylo always cried so easily. Once he started, he always had a hard time stopping. He remembers his mother kissing his knee and then his forehead, calling him bubbeleh. Giving him a hug and tickling his sides to help the tears stop. He remembers going back up to the slide, her eyes watching him carefully. He felt safer with her there. He didn’t fall the second time. For some reason, after his scrape healed, his kept the Batman bandage. He doesn’t remember where he put it but he needs to find it. He needs to find it. He needs to find it now!

He’s crying again and he doesn’t know why. Hux wraps a bandage around his thumb and starts to clean the knife. He reaches up to his face and doesn’t feel a scar. He should have a scar, he got it in the accident. The accident that killed his father, the accident that was his fault. He closes his eyes tight for a moment as a voice screams in his head, screams that he’s a monster. That he shouldn’t be here, that no one cares about him, that this is wrong, that he is wrong. It’s all wrong.

He opens his eyes and Hux is there, the knife pointed at his chest. He says something but the words are muffled. 

“What’s happening to me?” He asks, the words echoing around the room. Lightning flashes again and thunder booms. The lights flicker and between each moment of darkness Hux gets closer and closer, until the tip of the knife touches Kylo’s sternum.

Kylo looks down at his hands and his thumb is healed and his hands have become long dark claws. Something red and clotted is dripping off the ends, he doesn’t want to know what it is. He repeats his plea. The knife goes into his chest but he doesn’t feel the pain.

“Oh Ben, the scared little boy that ran away. How far do you think you’ll have to go before the guilt stops? Before the voices stop? You can’t escape Ben, you never will.” Hux says fiercely, twisting the knife further and further with every sentence. Ben is starting to feel the pain. Ben always felt everything and that’s why he ran. Ran and ran and ran until the sky and the ocean melded together and he found Hux. He remembers finding Hux. 

“Hux please… I don’t know what to do...” He whimpers, his claws gripping at the other man’s hips, penetrating the skin. The lights go out in the kitchen. All is still and silent. He hears Hux’s voice in his ear and struggles to breathe around the blade in his chest. The pain appears now, sharp and insistent and Kylo can hear someone screaming but he doesn’t know who it is. Maybe he’s screaming. He screams that he wants it to stop, that he’s sorry, that he doesn’t want it to hurt anymore. He screams and begs until his throat makes no sound and blood gurgles out of his mouth. This is it, he’s going to die. He’s going to die in his kitchen with a knife in his chest and claws instead of hands and Hux whispering dirty, horrible secrets in his ear. His vision starts to fade and the thunder from outside sounds distant and his grip on Hux’s hips slackens. He can almost hear his father’s voice...

“Just relax. I’ve got you Kylo, I’ve always got you.” Hux coos over and over again, kissing the scar that bisects Kylo’s face. Moments pass and the thunder and lightning quiet down. He breathes again and his lungs face no obstruction. The knife is still in Hux’s hand, gleaming and still. Kylo looks down at his hands, his thumb has a bandage on it. He swallows and coughs.

“I think I need help.” He laughs, the tears coming out unbidden and they giggle hysterically in the kitchen.

“Don’t we all.” Hux agrees and Kylo has to kiss him then.

They talk about going to the coast one night, after they return from a movie. The theater was showing the extended versions of _Lord of the Rings_ , so they have a lot of mail to collect when they get home. Kylo could take a few days off from the shop and Hux was his own boss so he could have a vacation whenever he wanted.

“You’ll love the coast Hux, it’s great. The salty air that blows in and the sand between your toes. I could show you how to jump the waves and build a sandcastle.” Kylo says excitedly, already planning the way he would lay Hux out on a blanket under the night sky, the stars the only witness to their love. Hux smiles indulgently and comes up behind Kylo, resting his chin on his shoulder. Kylo’s a little taller than Hux, but they always manage to fit together perfectly.

“I’d really like that Kylo. It does sound wonderful. Besides, Thanisson owes me a favor so we have someone to watch Millie when we go.” He murmurs into Kylo’s shoulder. The air shifts around them. It is a promise, it will be done. They will go to the coast.

 

Time passes, as it always does. It seems to move at a different pace in Starkiller though. Kylo doesn’t really mind, he always liked the night time better. He celebrates holidays with Hux and his friends, teaches them about his customs and learns about theirs. It feels a little Hallmark sometimes but Kylo enjoyed teaching Finn and Rey about latkes and learning how to split his body into molecules and fit through the cracks in the floorboard from them. It was fun to learn about other cultures, see how big the world could really be.

He remembers standing on the edge of town, right before the road becomes the highway, right behind the sign that names the town. He doesn’t remember how he got there. He must have driven, his car waits beside him. He doesn’t know what he plans on doing, he hasn’t got a suitcase or his phone or anything but himself. 

He misses his mother. He misses his father. He misses his dog and his room and his life. But he left those things behind. It was suffocating and too much for him to handle. But he still misses it, even now. His mother never calls, his uncle never writes. But then again, he never told them where to call or write. It’s his own fault like everything else.

A voice calls out his name but he doesn’t turn. He knows who it is. He always knows.

Hux walks up to him and stands silently next to him. His shadow extends outwards with no logical stopping point. Kylo’s own shadow remains small and still. 

“What are you doing?” Hux finally asks, looking at Kylo. For the first time since knowing him, there’s the briefest expression of apprehension and fear on his face. It’s absolutely beautiful and Kylo loves him for it. Still, he could do it. He could grab his stuff and get in the car and run away again. Find a new town with new people and maybe a new love. Hux can’t leave this town, none of them can. He doesn’t know why he knows this, but it rings as truth inside of him. But Kylo could still leave. Just like he did with all those other places. He turns and looks at Hux with his bright red hair and pale freckled skin. He looked so delicate and so strong. Hux was a mess of contradictions. Kylo changes his mind.

“Just remembering some things. Turns out they weren’t as important as I thought. I’ve decided to let them go. Really move on, you know? I’m tired of letting things hold me back and keep me down.” He finally answers, looking out once more into the desert before them. Hux nods slowly and reaches out his hand to grab Kylo’s. His shadow starts to grow and races to match Hux’s lengthier one. He gives his past one more long look and silently says goodbye. Then he leans over and kisses Hux as a chilly breeze rolls past them. Then he does what he does best.

He forgets.

**Author's Note:**

> And there we have it! I hope you guys liked it and remember to give the other fics in the collection some love too! A big thanks to the admins for pushing us along and to my artist for some wonderful pieces. You inspired this story and I think you're the best!
> 
>  
> 
> [My Tumblr](http://aweirdlookingtree.tumblr.com)  
> [Artist's Tumblr](http://rebelwerewolf.tumblr.com)


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